A Feminist Explains BDSM

After decades of searching, I have finally found someone more clueless about BDSM than the weekend ass slappers. I know, it is hard to believe, but it really happened. About the only thing that didn't surprise me was that it came from someone in a group that is just as amusing to me as the WAS' crowd, a feminist.

Let me introduce you then to cherryblossomlife. She is one of those comical radical feminists that I find every bit as entertaining as the role playing and role confused  fluffy Friday fanny floggers. You see, after encountering someone that wrote about a 'real life' BDSM incident, she spent a good several hours of research and became an expert on BDSM.

No, really. She knows the subject better than you or I. So lets find out about this subject that we mere novices so poorly understand. Take it away, cherry!

"BDSM is inextricably linked to porn, so researching the “lifestyle” without being bombarded  with pornography is impossible. Try conjuring up the worst scenario your brain will allow, multiply the sadism by five hundred, then picture that image magnified, displayed in a luxurious setting, photographed with clever lighting, and judged as ”art”. But we’re still not even getting close  to what men do to women, because the image must then be replicated in a thousand original ways with thousands of different women, each placed in a situation more humiliating, degrading and painful than the next."

 Wow, just wow! We're not even getting close to what men do to women. So we take your sensuous tush smacking and multiply it by 500. That might actually sting a bit. Why you filthy male sensual sadists, you! Women on the other hand, even dominant ones, are always the victims in BDSM, but more on that later. The burning question, and it burns a lot more than that tender tush tickling multiplied by 500, is why do women not only tolerate this, but in some instances actually ask for it? Lets find out!  

"What women claim to get out of the BDSM experience is the euphoria of transcendence. They talk of a sense of stillness and peace, of sharpened mental faculties in the days after being involved in a “scene”, an ability to think more clearly, of being better able to focus on the mundane tasks allocated to them, and of finding it easier to meet their obligations.

So what exactly are they transcending? The answer has to be daily life and “vanilla” sex. Vanilla sex is a derogative term used by BDSMers to describe the once-a-week-with-the-light-out sex that long term heterosexual couples are said to engage in. It is boring, goes the argument.

I’ve no doubt that it is.

Having coerced, obligatory PIV once a week with one Nigel is indeed very boring. This practice is not connected in any way to innate female sexuality, however, but is one of the demands patriarchy places upon women i.e. to sexually serve one man. And let’s not forget that men–as a group– are notoriously incompetent in the bedroom, which is another reason why women are prone to feigning headaches, or lying back and thinking of England.

Compared to this, BDSM does seem like an exciting alternative.

BDSM, then, is the solution patriarchy offers to women in place of the joyless, mundane, sexuality-less intercourse-posing-as-sex that women have to be “up for”  unless they want to be labelled frigid.

And what is daily life to women, except patriarchal oppression? If an endorphin high frees women up in some way to enjoy their lives….. then what does this tell us about women’s lives?

Could it be, that women’s lives are unbearable and that the outer-body experience offered by being a sub is a short-term escape? Sub women talk of the sense of being unable to move when restrained and how this feeling frees them from having to think…

It. frees. women. from. having. to. think.


 Let me see if I am getting this. Women's lives are so miserable that they seek an escape. Chocolate, bodice rippers, and shopping for $20,000 shoes made out of $5 worth of leather isn't enough to do it, nor is sex with some guy named Nigel who, despite having the super human stamina to plow billions of women, is still sexually inept. And so it is that out of desperation, they find excitement and an endorphin rush from BDSM."

Now I must be missing something here, because if I am reading this right, either all women in heterosexual relationships would be seeking the rush of BDSM, or else some of them are just too stupid to find their way to it. And since we know that not all heterofems are involved in BDSM, the majority of women are by default, idiots.


 Right, this sounds good so far. But that part about freeing them from having to think could have sinister implications. Could it be that there is a conspiracy afoot? Some fiendish plot  of cheesy B flick devising? Tell us, oh blossoming cherry!

"What happens when our boundaries are violated is a deep sense of shame and humiliation. But some sadism is so extreme that, I believe, it is impossible for a woman’s psyche to process the level of hatred aimed at her. Either way she internalizes it, but the shock that she is hated so much by men, or one man, is almost impossible to take. It may lead to psychosis, or at the very least serious dysfunction in work and social settings, where she is obliged to mix with men. That’s where cognitive dissonance comes into play. It’s easier to believe you wanted it by eroticizing your helplessness.

Add trauma bonding to the mix and a vicious cycle begins, which keeps a woman going back for more. Trauma bonding, otherwise known as Stockholm syndrome, is when a human being feels bound to her torturer by invisible psychic chains. It is a well-documented phenomenon. Add a sexual element to the sadism, and you get what is known in BDSM (and Rad-fem) circles as a mind-fuck. The mind-fuck is especially potent because we live in a world where women have been taught to ingratiate themselves with men in order to keep their jobs, their homes and their children, and to stay safe, off the streets and out of the mental institutions that men have so graciously built for them."

  Holy fucking hell! Those poor women don't really want the bottom bumping? Cognitive dissonance is turning the horror of the hatred they feel dripping off of the man into an erotic frame of mind in order to deal with this nightmarish trauma? Fuck! Now I'm getting worried. And this makes her go back for more? OK, I get the whole captive suffering from Stockholm syndrome thing, but after being coerced through some undefined means to endure an hour of getting her rump reddened at Paddles, she is so mentally broken that she now begins going back for more? Oh, those poor, pitiable, weak willed women! Those fragile, dainty flowers! I never knew they were forever on the verge of complete emotional collapse every moment of every day. And double fuck! I was taught that a mind fuck was a method of heightening the suspense and tension by way of fiction, props, and setting, like when I one time led a girl into a room where there was broken, jagged pieces of glass in the center, then blindfolded her while she was directly in front of it, then suspended her in a net which thanks to the pulley pulled her well away from the glass and over a mattress, then after beating her for about an hour I contemptuously told her that I was bored with her skanky ass, and that I was going to make sure that nobody ever found her attractive again, then cut the rope holding the net, dropping her onto the mattress. Scared the ever living hell out of her, and silly old me thought it was a mind fuck, but since I didn't spend 20 minutes researching BDSM, boy was I ever mistaken.    

Perhaps most frightening of all is the well documented phenomenon of Stockholm syndrome that our little cherry bomb provided.  It is apparently so well documented that the author of the page felt it unnecessary to provide links or even footnotes to such documentation. The FBI paint a slightly different story, but as the two psychologists writing the FBI article didn't browse a handful of BDSM articles, they could hardly be considered experts on the matter.Lets hear more.

"Interestingly, victims who experienced humiliation score higher numbers of Stockholm syndrome factors than those who experienced stand-alone violence. It could be that humiliation is always the male perpetrator’s goal when it comes to sexual aggression against women. Violence is the means by which he achieves that goal. Violence for violence’s sake seems to have a different effect on the psyche because the victims’ sense of self remains somewhat intact and they have some dignity left to hang onto."

Like so many of her other links, the one above is dead. This should not concern us, as her article is so clearly chock full of factual goodness. It is both disturbing and refreshing to hear that all sexual aggression toward women from men may always be motivated  by a desire to humiliate. While we can speculate that sexual aggression is a desire to have sex, it seems that there may be a more conspiratorial motive behind this. So we can gather that the college boy who first engages in heavy petting, then moves to pleading, and continues through a progressive chain of techniques in order to obtain sex from a girl is not really trying to have sex with her, but is in fact engaging in a cunningly laid out formula of humiliation created to draw the girl into his web of sadistic power. But can it be that all men want to hurt women? I was convinced that sadists were few and far between. I must be mistaken. 

"This may sound obvious. But many women seem to be in complete denial over the fact that men really and truly do want to hurt them; despite the fact that the patriarchal propaganda of porn has now permeated the entire world. Turn on the TV any night of the week, watch almost any movie, and it will invariably involve men hurting women. In a brilliant Orwellian coup, men have somehow managed to convince women that hate is love. 

What would happen if all women realized that men, in general, want to hurt them?"

Oh, sweet infernal evil, virtually all men are sadists! I didn't know. I really didn't know. And not only that, we have convinced women that hate is love. Why didn't you bastards send me a memo that we were going to begin a covert national plot to enslave women? I would have had some invaluable advice to give. 

But wait, aren't there female dominants and sadists out there as well? What about all those dominatrices, mistresses, and  femtops? How do they play into all this? As your countless minutes of research has made you the leading authority on the subject, do tell us, oh cherry flavored one.

"Another commonly made mistake is the concept that female dominatrices are able to exert tangible power over men.

Yet more lies.

When a woman is a “domme”, she is still serving men. As Sheila Jeffreys points out in Beauty and Misogyny, male masochistic fantasies involving women are based on the amusing pretense that the power dynamic has shifted, an erotic pretense, which of course could not exist without the actual subordination of women in real life. When a man pays a prostitute to ”subordinate” him, it is clear where the real power lies. Jeffreys makes the point that a person with true power out there in the world would not need to spend her time dealing with the bodily fluids of men in  exchange for cash. Whether she is a prostituted or a voluntary domme, outside of the BDSM scene nothing has altered: the man’s place in society is set in stone.

Male subs appear to be acutely aware of this fact, whereas women in the BDSM scene come across as being surprisingly ignorant of the true nature of male masochism. They seem to fall for the notion that they are powerful, when in fact their role is to cater to male sexuality. The female domme’s enjoyment is neither here nor there.  If she enjoys it, all the better. If he can’t find a woman who enjoys it, well that’s what prostitutes are for.

Or if you’re a heterosexual guy who likes being a bottom, and you happen to have a spare female slave handy (aka a wife) you can call yourself “trans” and coerce her into pretending you’re both lesbians [true story!].

Whether “top” or “bottom” it is the men who are in control every step of the way, thanks to their caste status: male."

Oh, you nefarious, cunning, evil bastards! Here I thought that the many demands, red flags, laundry lists, rules, and codes of conduct forced on you meant that the women were actually giving you the orders, and you were servicing them  as groveling pussy whipped worms with your role playing 'power exchange'.  Instead, you have made the femdommes into a joke, tricking them into thinking that they had control when really you have forced all women, both domme and sub, into being your thralls and toys. Ha! Take that, 'dominant' females! Teh mad skilz uv teh Mighty Penis hav PWNED U,  Be-atches! We control the vertical, we control the horizontal.We are controlling transmission. For the next hour we will control all that you see and hear. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to the Mighty Penis.So strip off that leather, prostrate yourself before your male 'slaves' and kiss their feet, 'cause they own you. Neener, neener, neener! Don't you feel stupid now, thinking that you were empowered when really you are nothing more than Overbottoms? 

I think that I am starting to understand now. All men are willing sadists, and all women are unwitting masochists, including and especially the women that think they are dominant sadists. And they have tricked the weak willed, spineless women into becoming willing slaves by the seductive rush of endorphins, trapping them with some undefined social Stockholm syndrome, and convinced them that they really want this in their lives. Until now, I really had absolutely no idea as to how terribly simple it was to manipulate the mind of a woman, but now I see that they are basically zombies with no will or intelligence with which to mount a reasoned resistance.  But  in order for the Machiavellian Patriarchal chap wearing overlords to pull this off, doesn't it have to apply to everyone? After all, BDSM claims to be a minority. Preach it to us, sister cherry!

"The aim of The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom is to raise awareness and promote the normalcy of sadomasochism.  BDSM has now become a movement. In a painful irony, women are expending valuable energy marching on the streets for their right to be accepted as subs by society. They demand social acceptance for their “alternative” lifestyle and seek understanding from family and friends. There is much hand-wringing over when is the best moment to “come out”, and they hope one day that their lifestyle and alternative (read: mainstream) sexuality will be accepted at work.

As if it wasn’t already normal.

By claiming minority status BDSM activists are creating yet another reversal. We see exactly the same dynamics at play when the powerful trans lobby uses its class power (the sexual class: male) to further deprive women (females) of the few rights they have. It is a cruel “double double unthink” whereby powerful white heterosexual men get to claim minority status."

That is it! That is bloody it! The men have cunningly concealed the reality of slavery in the everyday world, unchained the women with equal rights, and then strategically created a fake minority with which to enslave them once again, even though they had never been freed to begin with. Only this time they have those gullible, stupid women actually aiding them in the act. Brilliant, fucking brilliant! I do have to wonder though why all of the men, who never did send me the damn memo by the way, bothered going through such convolutions when women are so childishly easy to enslave because of the inferior intellect that cherry's series of articles strongly implies they possess.  But we should let her finish up, don't you think?

"Which leads us to the subject currently being discussed at Fabulous Fab Stuff. Could the appeal of BDSM be the fact that there are rules such as “safewords” and “aftercare”? Whether the rules are adhered to or not, does the concept of rules offer an illusion of safety and love that a woman wouldn’t get with a vanilla guy? Women’s attraction to BDSM becomes understandable when you see it in this context. And if PIV is avoidable, what’s a bit of pain compared to an unwanted pregnancy (which inevitably leads to a lot of pain)?

As I reach the end of this three part post, I have to go back to the beginning. The existence of BDSM is perhaps not so much the tragedy here as is the fact that so many women see it as a portal to freedom. Women have  wholeheartedly embraced this soul-destroying, woman-hating cultural practice,  just as Chinese women, with crushed and damaged spirits, embraced binding their eight year old daughters’ feet. Like the lotus foot, contemporary female sexuality has been twisted and contorted beyond all recognition."

That about wraps it up. All women are weak willed lesbians in denial just trying to avoid PIV (penis in vagina), and are attracted like simple minded ferrets to the glittering illusion of safe words and rules by engaging in the woman destroying practice of BDSM. While I wonder how this possibly explains lesbian BDSM couples, I am sure that our fruity snack cherry probably has an answer for that as well. Lets wrap everything up like a mummified bondage bitch with a recap.

1. Only white heterosexual men are engaged in BDSM. 

2. All women are easy to manipulate, hate the Mighty Penis, are unwitting masochists, and  lesbians.

3. Female 'dominants' are the stupidest of the stupid women as they think they are in control.

4. A giant conspiracy tricked already enslaved women into being enslaved, again.

5. All men are sadists, even vanilla ones.

6. Transexual men are also in on the conspiracy, because all are straight and misogynists.

7. BDSM is not a minority. 

8. BDSM is entirely evil except between lesbians (my inference at least)

9. Real feminists will wage a war on BDSM.

10. There is finally someone in the world that is more clueless about BDSM than weekend ass slappers. 

Share and enjoy, all you Saturday sacrum swatters. As if you have not pussified, wimpified, and watered down BDSM enough, you now have a mega twat to show you how to really yank your balls off. Now polish my boots with that simple, brainwashed tongue of yours, mistress! Worship the Mighty Penis.