Befuddled Bimbos of BDSM

These days the world of BDSM seems to be dominated by men emasculated by laundry lists of demands by self proclaimed submissives and by butt hurt bitches that somewhat rightfully equate power and authority with having a penis. While the castrated cunt clobbered cuckold caboose clappers nauseate me, they are normally too indoctrinated with BDSM dogma to even comprehend the depths to which they have sank. So instead of making these neutered wretches realize that they dwell beneath roofs of pond scum, I will turn my attention instead toward the penis envying ninnies.



These pitiful perturbed powerless puerile power-pining penis-prizing pouting petunias have yet to hear that women now have equal rights in the English speaking world. Unlike the well adjusted modern female, these women suffer from a massive and debilitating inferiority complex which they erroneously believe can only be alleviated by ensnaring the mystical power of the Mighty Penis. Their misguided mission has caused them to fixate on the notion that they will harness the power of the Mighty Penis by virtue of title alone. And hence we have befuddled bimbos adopting titles such as Sir, Mister, and Master.

Obey Your "Master"

While anyone can see the patent absurdity of misrepresenting ones gender, it is still necessary to examine the hapless harridan's motivations in chosing to do so. They will falsely claim that the self bestowed titles are gender neutral, a excruciatingly silly claim that can be seen by examining the titles.

Let us begin with an easy one. The word Sir. Sir has been used historically to denote the male gender, and as a title for a knighted male. A knighted female is a Dame, not a Sir. Furthermore, the word is derived from the middle English word Sire, meaning father. Nowhere has the word Sir ever been used to commonly designate a female.

Moving right along, we come to the word Mister. This word was used historically as an honorific of a male above your own status. While today it is normally used in conjunction with a last name, as in Mister Smith, it was sometimes used in the past along with the man's first name, especially in the case of servants of a family who needed to distinguish between family members in conversation. The female equivalent of mister is madam. Again, it has never been used to refer to a woman.

Finally we come to the one title that our flabby femme fanny flappers most often agonizingly attempt to claim as their own, Master. This word is what the former title, mister, is derived from. The gibbering gynos rely on this word to defend their flaccid femme fallacy because it is unique in that there are a few specific instances where it can indeed be bestowed upon women as well as men, and one which they claim has always been used by the leather community for both men and women. This is a strange claim indeed, as the leather community was composed of homosexual men in the 1940's, and it was not until the late 70's that lesbians began to mingle with them.

When we are exposed to the word in its gender neutral form, it is most commonly found relating to an academic degree, as in master of arts. But how could this possibly relate to BDSM? What has she mastered? Ass slapping? And as the title in this context is bestowed upon someone in recognition of their 'mastery' of a subject, what institution bestows it upon them? Obviously none. Equally obvious is the point that this was not the intended use of the word Master in BDSM. Master can also be gender neutral in regard to mastery of a craft or art, but again this has no bearing on BDSM. And nobody would think that it came to BDSM by way of a master tape or recording. Where then would we have taken it from?

The most obvious point of origin would be from its use to identify the head of a household or manor. This would be a likely source, as the master of the house usually had servants at his disposal which would refer to him as such. From here, we can begin to understand the association, as the subservient staff and lordly master make a smooth transition into the roles of BDSM. But I suspect that there is even a deeper association with the word in this context. Prior to the American civil war, American slaves frequently referred to their literal owners as master. This is the most obvious and likely origin of the title master in the context of BDSM, as it takes little imagination to draw the association.

Oh, but what did the slaves call a female owner? We need look no farther than to Harriet Ann Jacobs' autobiographical Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl to learn that the term used for a female owner was...brace yourself...Mistress! That's right, Mistress is the feminine of Master, hence the correct and rightful title in BDSM for a woman in the roll of dominant.

With all due respect, a person is entitled to call their self pretty much whatever they like. And in equal fairness, we are entitled to refer to the ones who are obviously mistaken as what they really are; fucking moronic twits. This extends past women claiming to be men, and includes the blathering weekend ass slapped bitches who insist that nobody define them when they lack the polysyllabic language and intelligence to define their self. To make a long story short, if they don't have a homegrown penis and engage in dominant activities, they are not a Master. If they are not owned, they are not a slave. This is a simple formula, but as it exceeds the monosyllable limit and the 3 second attention span of a ferret with ADHD it will doubtless be lost on its intended targets.  

This all leads to an important question. If there is no reasonable legitimate reason for a woman to adopt a male title, what unreasonable reason would they have? A look into the people that do this may provide us with the answer.                                  

This is what they are reaching for.

A browsing of any BDSM site will tell you that a specific niche of people are the ones demanding self definition. In every single case, it is women doing this. Men do not engage in such abject idiocy. And of the women that do it, all are debilitatingly insecure. They lack direction, focus, and most importantly, comfort in their own skin. Furthermore they suffer from the delusion that they can wield the power of the Mighty Penis through words alone. They believe that if they control the awesome power of the Mighty Penis, they can have power, respect, authority, self esteem, and a mind whose IQ exceeds that of the box of Haagen Dazs they are currently stuffing their face with.

So much penis envy, so little time.

Yes, it is ultimately the forklift of penis envy that pushes these scale topping skanks to low louder than the cows they dwarf on the subject of self definition. Unable to swing a flogger without the liters of lipids surrounding their heart sending them into cardiac arrest while buckets of sweat roll down the mountains, dales, and stretch mark canyons of flesh, they seek the power of the Mighty Penis to provide an instant fix rather than the power of Jenny Craig to provide an actual fix. Their minds encapsulated with gelatinous goo, they are incapable of seeing the illogical futitity of this pursuit. Rational discourse is wasted upon them. The only method of dealing with them is to point and laugh. Laugh until they turn red. This will not take long, as the act of breathing tends to exhaust them. Laugh until they quiver with anger. This will cause their mound of blubber to rock, lulling them even quicker into sleep. With this they are silent, and the people who actually have their feet grounded on reality can speak in peace.

In conclusion, I will point out something that I have said often and loudly. Individuals do not get to define words. Groups of people choosing to agree on a definition do. Language would not work if everyone and their lard assed wannabe submissive got to define their own word meanings. We have to be able to understand each other, and we do this through mutually recognized definitions. If you are one of those rare individuals like Robert Heinlein or Charles Lutwidge Dodgson who create a word that comes into common use, congratulations, as you are an exceptional individual. If you on the other hand are an individual that insists that you can personally redefine a word and expect everyone to accept your definition, you are a gibbering idiot that deserves nothing more than mockery and ridicule.

I will leave you now with the words of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, a man who obviously was exposed to such stupidity. I base this on an excerpt from Through the Looking Glass which sums up the nonsense of self definition far more eloquently than I ever could;

    “I don’t know what you mean by ‘glory,’ ” Alice said.

    Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. “Of course you don’t—till I tell you. I meant ‘there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!’ ”

    “But ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument’,” Alice objected.

    “When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”

    “The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”

    “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master that’s all.”

    Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. “They’ve a temper, some of them— particularly verbs, they’re the proudest—adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs—however, I can manage the whole lot! Impenetrability! That’s what I say!”