Lifestyle Dissonance

We see it in our lifestyle all the time. Scathing attacks on principles, accusations of elitism, insistence of our offering a 'one true way'. The end is always predictable. A gross mischaracterization of the lifestyle being assaulted, ridiculous accusations that are made even more contemptuous because the accusers fail to see their own hypocrisy reflected therein, and a militant attempt to usurp the philosophy and modify it so that it applies to virtually anyone. If they cannot have the lifestyle they covet and envy, they will destroy it. We have seen this happen to M/s, and are seeing it happen to O/p even as I write. But why? What causes this illogical and juvenile behavior?

The answer is fairly simple. Cognitive dissonance. From Aesop's the Fox
and the Grapes to a child that drops their ice cream cone while their
peers are eating theirs, cognitive dissonance tears at peoples minds. It
becomes their primary drive to reduce this dissonance and thereby
their discomfort from it.

Coping with Cognitive Dissonance: Who wants to be a dumb old Vice President anyway?

Case in point. Take a typical submissive that joins an O/p forum. She
expresses a desire for such a lifestyle, perhaps even mentions that she
once had exactly that but lost it. She repeatedly laments her inability
to gain O/p. She voices frustration and depression from this lack, even
mentioning that she contemplates leaving her current dominant because
of his lack of providing it. The O/p crowd may express sympathy and
understanding, but their compassion does not alleviate her frustrations.
Instead her bitterness and envy toward them increases. She begins to
create excuses in her mind as to why O/p is not desirable. She tries to
find fault in the concept of O/p and criticizes it in order to decrease
her dissonance. She intentionally confuses difference with elitism. She
imagines all sorts of wildly speculative mental disorders resulting
from the practice of O/p.

Common Reaction to the Realization that Someone is not Property

What has happened here is that a person has allowed her envy to master
her thoughts and emotions. Her bitterness at her own failure to attain
what she desires now has the reins. Her rants, tantrums, and hissy fits
become more and more childish, and she is driven so far over the edge
in her obsessive drive to demonize what she has failed to obtain that
she becomes unreasonable when confronted with any aspect or mention of it.

Lesson: Spot the Dissonance Here

One cannot help but pity the example above. But the O/p community needs
to understand that pity should not force their hand in watering down
their lifestyle to make it accommodate everyone. You can pity the
accountant that wishes he were a professional wrestler, but you don't
change the rules of wrestling just because he complains about their
endurance and physical stature. The wrestler is not elite, he is
completely different from an accountant. The wrestler is not insisting
that a body slam is the 'one true way'. He is saying that accounting is
NOT wrestling. Emotional appeal does not change fact, but it seems to
change lifestyle definitions when people are not vigilant enough, or
intelligent enough, to understand what is happening. When spineless
diplomacy meets mediocre intellect, all lifestyles become nothing more
than weekend ass slapping. Meanwhile, those of us with backbone and
sense carry on without you.