About Me

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Brutal Antipathy is a pseudonym for a blogger and forum debate enthusiast whose views often rest well outside of social baseline. A self confirmed atheist, misanthropist, and sadist, his commentary ranges from parched textbook facts to satire and sarcasm. He is a proponent of free speech and individual liberty even when these are taken to excess. His political views shift between lower case libertarian and enlightened despotism depending on the level of contempt he is feeling for his fellow humans at any given moment. His reading interests include history, general science, archaeology, comparative religion, psychology, & sociology. Other interests and hobbies include practicing various crafts, torturing his slave, blogging, playing with his dogs, collecting antiques, role playing & tactical simulation games, renaissance fairs, and cheerfully making other people miserable by holding up a mirror of their shortcomings and repeatedly bashing them in the face with it. L is the owned slave of BA. She basically has the same interests and views as her owner except in music.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Architecture of O/p

When I sat out to build an O/p relationship, I knew what I wanted. This was no evolutionary ratcheting upward toward some ambiguous goal. I had a floor plan for it even before I started.

Because of this, there were no awkward questions to be had when life and O/p ran afoul of each other. The relationship was built around O/p, not O/p around a relationship. The remoteness of a dwelling for privacy and isolation were factored in. My career path needed to be evaluated in order to make it best fit what I needed. Socialization with peers and acquaintances was taken into account as some of them would not understand and therefore had to go. Financial matters were addressed, as was health care for both myself and her.
Bad Engineering Leads to This.

The point is, my life and hers were modified to fit the foundation of O/p. A keen observation made by L noted that most others modify their O/p relationships around the foundation of their life. This in itself is perhaps where the greatest gap in understanding comes from. For me, this lifestyle is just that, a lifestyle. It is not some hobby or kink that I indulge in when convenient and abandon when reality gets in the way. The O/p lifestyle is the very core of my reality.

This means that O/p is placed before everything outside of O/p, including family and career. I left my family considerably farther away than did L. I changed career paths after 20 years down a single path in order to gain the flexibility and finances I needed. There would be no children to come first, ever, under any circumstances. She would have no job that would interfere with her service to me. Both her family and mine would be interacted with on my terms, at my discretion.

Such is the fine tuning of actual O/p that the addition of a dog threw everything into disarray. Routines and patterns were shattered at the insertion of a single outside element that is unable to even be traumatized or shocked by the lifestyle. It literally disrupted us for months. Ground was lost, progress undone, and routines suddenly forced to match the rhythm of something other than O/p.
An Example of Bad Design

Now try and imagine throwing a child into this. The floor is suddenly covered in eggshells. Anything you might do that is O/p must now be done behind its back. You have to eliminate any questionable noises. Medical emergencies that children almost invariably have suddenly takes precedence over the relationship. You cannot reschedule the child's emergency room visit for the convenience of your owner. Various rituals and protocol have to be modified or eliminated to prevent the child's exposure to it. The soiled and screaming infant demands your immediate attention regardless of other desires. At worst O/p has been set to one side for nearly two decades. At best it has been marginalized to weekend ass slapping.

This is the crux of my misunderstanding of many claiming to be O/p. The convoluted and illogical arguments they propose in defense of lifestyle sacrifice perplexes me. As I built my O/p from the ground up, I have trouble believing that some of these are O/p at all. My engineering of the relationship makes it nearly impossible for me to relate to their adjustments, let alone see how those adjustments can even remotely be compared to 24/7 O/p.

Every relationship is different. We each construct differently. But if the design is too flawed or just too different, then we cannot honestly call something what it is not.

It may offend your delicate sensibility to learn that this rectangle is not a circle.


  1. The problem is definition. How one person defines a word is different than how another person defines a word. This is simple enough to rectify. Just agree on a definition.

    But it is compounded by the cornerstone O/P is not a fixed thing, tangible and able to be observed physically. It is a living thing and so is never the same.

    I can (and have) own a tractor. This can be observed with any number of instruments by different people and they will all come up with the same answer.

    A relationship between two people examined by any two people never generates the same results.

    Can there be a true way? Yes. But only as it applies to one relationship.

    Every other relationship, relying as it does on unique individuals, must therefore be different.

    It's still definition.

    One size cannot fit all comfortably. To believe one size does fit all is to engage in greater mindlessness than failing to agree on a definition.

  2. I do agree that one size does not fit all. My entry was more one of perspective and why a different approach gives a vastly different view of the overall picture.

    I think that the problem with self definition comes from a lack of agreeable observations. "I am a historian." is not a tangible or physically observable statement, but any group of historians can through discussion determine if the person is telling the truth or not. The same can be said with certain lifestyles. The person may make the claim of practicing a lifestyle, but when they then insist that they do the opposite of some dozen commonly held lifestyle practices, it is obvious to anyone except the person making the claim, and perhaps even to them if they are being intentionally dishonest or inflammatory, that they are not a practitioner of what they claim to be.

  3. We approach the same goal from slightly different directions.