The Architecture of O/p

When I sat out to build an O/p relationship, I knew what I wanted. This was no evolutionary ratcheting upward toward some ambiguous goal. I had a floor plan for it even before I started.

Because of this, there were no awkward questions to be had when life and O/p ran afoul of each other. The relationship was built around O/p, not O/p around a relationship. The remoteness of a dwelling for privacy and isolation were factored in. My career path needed to be evaluated in order to make it best fit what I needed. Socialization with peers and acquaintances was taken into account as some of them would not understand and therefore had to go. Financial matters were addressed, as was health care for both myself and her.

Bad Engineering Leads to This.

The point is, my life and hers were modified to fit the foundation of O/p. A keen observation made by L noted that most others modify their O/p relationships around the foundation of their life. This in itself is perhaps where the greatest gap in understanding comes from. For me, this lifestyle is just that, a lifestyle. It is not some hobby or kink that I indulge in when convenient and abandon when reality gets in the way. The O/p lifestyle is the very core of my reality.

This means that O/p is placed before everything outside of O/p, including family and career. I left my family considerably farther away than did L. I changed career paths after 20 years down a single path in order to gain the flexibility and finances I needed. There would be no children to come first, ever, under any circumstances. She would have no job that would interfere with her service to me. Both her family and mine would be interacted with on my terms, at my discretion.

Such is the fine tuning of actual O/p that the addition of a dog threw everything into disarray. Routines and patterns were shattered at the insertion of a single outside element that is unable to even be traumatized or shocked by the lifestyle. It literally disrupted us for months. Ground was lost, progress undone, and routines suddenly forced to match the rhythm of something other than O/p.

An Example of Bad Design

Now try and imagine throwing a child into this. The floor is suddenly covered in eggshells. Anything you might do that is O/p must now be done behind its back. You have to eliminate any questionable noises. Medical emergencies that children almost invariably have suddenly takes precedence over the relationship. You cannot reschedule the child's emergency room visit for the convenience of your owner. Various rituals and protocol have to be modified or eliminated to prevent the child's exposure to it. The soiled and screaming infant demands your immediate attention regardless of other desires. At worst O/p has been set to one side for nearly two decades. At best it has been marginalized to weekend ass slapping.

This is the crux of my misunderstanding of many claiming to be O/p. The convoluted and illogical arguments they propose in defense of lifestyle sacrifice perplexes me. As I built my O/p from the ground up, I have trouble believing that some of these are O/p at all. My engineering of the relationship makes it nearly impossible for me to relate to their adjustments, let alone see how those adjustments can even remotely be compared to 24/7 O/p.


Every relationship is different. We each construct differently. But if the design is too flawed or just too different, then we cannot honestly call something what it is not.

It may offend your delicate sensibility to learn that this rectangle is not a circle.