I really try to avoid politics. Silly of me, I know, but unless something political directly concerns me, and even then only if I can in my finite wisdom see the direct implications, I try not to pay it any attention. I mostly stick my head in the sand and pretend that the political arena doesn’t exist.
Thanks to the face full of dirt from my chronic head burying, when I got the news about the Arizona shooting over the weekend, I had no idea how much politics were being poured onto the wounds. I googled the event in order to find out more information. My search results yielded page after page of frothing at the mouth political rhetoric and accusations. The liberals are blaming the conservatives. The conservatives are blaming the liberals. The Republicans are blaming the Democrats. The Democrats are blaming the Republicans. Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh apparently held the Glock together and pulled the trigger in unison. Every political party and seemingly every special interest group in America is trying to capitalize on this tragic event. Naturally the Brady Bunch is using it as yet another platform for gun control. This is to be expected, because they make the same attempt every time anything happens within a 200 mile radius of any firearm. A tornado decimates a community in rural Kansas and the Brady Bunch will find a way to blame it on the shotgun of one of the farmers whose house was destroyed. I expect this type of nonsense out of the Brady Bunch. What I didn’t expect was all the other whack jobs that crawled out from under their slimy rocks to promote their agendas at the expense of other peoples misery.
One of these slimy rocks houses the phallus fearing Feminists. Yes, believe it or not, these mouthy mindless milk bags have decided that the slayings were caused by the Mighty Penis, and only by castrating the Mighty Penis will America ever be free to enjoy Dustin Hoffman movies, have brunch, and shop for Prada. Don’t believe me, do you? Well check this shit out, ya nutless wonders, then get back to me on the Coalition of Caterwauling Castrating Cock Consternators. It was all because of Da Man, Da Man in this case being meant in its literal sense. Yep, even the mysandristic muff munchers are going to exploit pain and suffering for the sake of their bra-less titty sagging bullshit. How is that for compassion and equality? So it is fine and dandy for them to figuratively fuck a little girl, just so it is for the greater (see female) good. Nice double standards there, you fucking undesirable, sexually frustrated, man hating because your skanky ass was rejected by one, cunts.
Oh, but the fun doesn’t stop there! Next in line we have the lovable and cuddly Westoboro Baptist Church. Perhaps you have heard of them and their kind and gentle leader Fred Phelps, founder of godhatesfags.com. As the name implies, Fred insists that God despises homosexuals, and therefore so should all God fearing Christians. Never you mind that Phelps' church is splintered from the Primitive Baptists and believe in predestination which would make any pleas of "Change your evil ways!" irrelevant. No, forget that. He just insists that God hates fags, liberals, freedom, blueberry pancakes, Sweden, coffee mugs, television, radio, plush carpet, non Christians, other Christians, and pretty much anything and everything else. He insists these things at some of the strangest of places. Notably he and his cadre like going to funerals of American servicemen and delivering the loving message that they deserved to die because America doesn’t stone homosexuals to death. More recently, he and his ‘church’ have allegedly announced that they intend to rally at the funeral of 9 year old Christina Greene, one of the victims of the Arizona shooting, to compassionately explain to the grieving family how little Christina deserved what she got because she was Catholic, and therefore a pedophile loving atheist lesbian who no doubt performed recreational abortions while masturbating with a rolled up soft cover Bible. I tried to get into Fred’s websites in order to verify his statement of intent, but so far not a single one of his sites are in operation. What little I have to go on can be found here. Several biker organizations have vowed to attend the funeral in order to form a human wall between the grievers and the protesters.
What in the hell is going on here? Wake the fuck up, America. There will be plenty of time to push your politics. This is not one of those fucking times. Here is some news for everyone. The Republicans did not do this. The Democrats didn’t do it. The Socialists, Libertarians, Communists, Liberals, Conservatives, Atheists, Buddhists, Zoroastrians, Catholics, Presbyterians, Wiccans , Hindu, Rastafarians, Pastafarians, Muslims, Agnostics, Goths, Emos, Men, Women, Transgenders, Keanu Reeves, Cat Lovers, Furries, Skydivers, Body Modders, RPGers, LARPers, Vampires, Rock & Roll, The Grays, The Reptilians, The Homosexuals, The Bisexuals, The Heterosexuals, 9/11, The NWO, HAARP, Flourine, Immunizations, or the Trilateral Commission didn’t do this. A nuttier than a squirrel turd 22 year old guy did this.
To my Libertarian and other gun toting allies; despite your wishful thinking, firearms did not play a part in stopping this horrible crime. We all know that one of the men that restrained the individual was armed, but he did not use that pistol in order to save the life of anyone involved. Much as you would like to, you can’t turn this into a victory for your side. Pass around a doobie and sit this one out, my friends.
To the Brady Bunch; the firearm did not magically discharge itself. Guns require human intervention in order to kill. A gun was used to kill these particular people. A lot of other things have been built specifically for the purpose of killing over the years. Not one of them, not even guns, comes close to the damage that can be, and has been, done with a single atomic weapon. Unlike most of the world that has been conditioned by centuries of monarchy rule to accept only ‘authorities’ having the right and privilege of bearing arms and being able to defend themselves and their interests, American’s have a 200+ plus year history of defending ones personal self and interests. American firearms are not going away, and restrictions here simply serve to empower the criminals that will not be thwarted by anything so trivial as legalities. There are times that it is necessary to take one life in order to save many. This is true in the civilian world as well as in the military. Do you really want to tell me that you trust political ass-hats like those detailed in this blog to make decisions involving deadly force, but not responsible citizens? Get fucking real!
Liberals, Sarah Palin did not do this. Neither did Rush Limbaugh. As much as I would like to see Sarah ball gagged, cuffed, and publicly flogged, neither she nor Rush had a damned thing to do with it. Go hug Charles Manson and tell him how society is to blame for his problems.
Conservatives, the liberal media is not to blame. Fox news did not pull a trigger repeatedly. Go watch the Simpsons and try to learn something about the real world and how it works for a change.
Socialists; lack of universal health care and allowing billions of children to starve in Wherethefuckisthatastan while every American consumes 50,000 calories per meal in all actuality had nothing to do with this. I’ve got your socialist party right here, buddy!
Feminazis; my penis has never been to Arizona, and despite there being numerous references to it as a friendly weapon, it has never pulled a trigger. It has however been responsible for more than one case of temporary blindness. Shut the fuck up, put on a god damned bra, and get your ass back in the fucking kitchen before I smack you upside the head with a Susan B. Anthony biography. And bring me a beer, you worthless, lazy, stupid twat!
Fred Phelps; What can I say old pall? Hey, how about you call some of my bro’s at the funeral fags! I would also suggest that you kick over a few of their godless motorcycles since those things are really only wheeled vibrators for gay men anyway. Spit on a few of their patches while you are at it. I may not be there for the fun, but you can bet your sanctimoniously hypocritical white ass that I will help pay the bail of the man that puts his fist or boot through your fucking face, you heartless, disrespectful, rude, ignorantly arrogant, inbred, stupid, fudge packed, dilated sphinctered, closet cock loving douche.
PETA; No animals were harmed in the making of this massacre. Aren't you all so very happy?
Atheists; No god, goddess, pantheon, or any of their followers caused this. Now go back to patting yourselves on the back for being so progressive and smart.
Theists; Lack of belief did not cause this. Now go back to praying because squinting your eyes shut and wishing really hard fixes everything.
Conspiracy Theorists; I have undeniable evidence that Keanu Reeves caused this. My proof is that there is absolutely no evidence to indicate it, thus demonstrating the magnitude of this cover up. He has also developed a mind control device that can penetrate aluminum foil. Don't let his seeming inability to act his way out of a moist paper sack or his perennial look of dull incomprehension fool you. He is really the mastermind behind everything.
Bottom line….shut the fuck up, every fucking one of you. Play your stupid assed political power games somewhere else, some other time. People are fucking dead, you self centered, self serving, festering puss filled anal sores! A little girl is dead! You obviously have no dignity or self respect, but try to have a little respect for the dead and their families. Let these poor people grieve in peace instead of making a god damned circus show out of it. Have your pissing matches elsewhere. Burn your bras, your flags, your guns, your Korans, your campaign buttons, and your political opponents somewhere else. A screwed up young man, almost a kid, did something really bad in Arizona. People were hurt. Some of them died. Have enough human decency to let their families finish the grieving process and heal, and just shut the fuck up for once in your worthless lives. Otherwise not a single one of you are worthy of the title of human beings, and the greater tragedy is that the kid didn’t blow your fucking heads off.
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