Quintuple Penetrating the First Amendment

The First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States is perhaps the most used, abused, recited, and misunderstood piece of writing since the Holy Bible. It is the crutch of churches, secular groups, artists, authors, film makers, political groups, hate mongers, pornographers, and ordinary agenda-less citizens. Along with Amendments 2 through 10, aka the Bill of Rights, it forms the backbone of American liberty.

So Easy Even a Weekend Ass Slapper Can Do It

I am proudly a threefold discriminatee. As an atheist I am universally despised by theists of every creed and calling. As an O/p lifestyler I am the object of hatred of the BDSM community at large, though strangely enough the vanilla world doesn't seem to give a rats ass. And finally I am a member of that notorious class of fiends, reviled and persecuted for our affliction, a smoker. 

Elegant and Accurate Projectile

I have a particular fondness for pipes. Not only are they aerodynamic and wonderful for hurling at wailing children, they just seem to radiate an aura of genteel refinement and culture. When combined with the right tobacco they seem to put even the most distrustful person at ease.  

And yet despite the many virtues of the pipe, I usually carry cigarettes in public. It takes a while to smoke a bowl of tobacco, and the cigarette has a fairly predictable, relatively brief burn time. Being prepackaged and ready to smoke, they are also more convenient to carry.

The Homophobe Doth Protest too Much, Methinks

Firm Like a Midshipman Braced for Ramming from Behind, Freddie Prepares to Give a Sermon

Someone will probably think that I misparaphrased the title line. I didn't. The misquote is "Methinks the lady doth protest too much.". And while we today tend to use the quote to mean that someone is implying the negative so frequently and forcefully that we are inclined to believe the opposite of them, the word 'protest' in Shakespeare's time meant something a little different. Pro is to put forth or come before. Testari, the parent word of testify, meant just that. Combining the two, we get a meaning of 'protest' to signify putting forth ones testimony. The Lady stated her case too vigorously.  Shakespeare's protest was a positive assertion, while today it signifies a negative assertion. Another misconception is that testify and testicle are related, and that Romans used to swear oaths by clutching the other persons testicles. This really wasn't the case. The practice seems to stem from the Bible.

America the Ugly

I really try to avoid politics. Silly of me, I know, but unless something political directly concerns me, and even then only if I can in my finite wisdom see the direct implications, I try not to pay it any attention. I mostly stick my head in the sand and pretend that the political arena doesn’t exist.  

The Chili Gene

A Little Pot of Chili

This is going to be sort of like explaining color to the blind, but I thought I would attempt to enlighten the world about chili. I wish that I could teach you all how to make chili, but most humans lack the chili gene necessary for creating it. This is why chili recipes invariably fail. There is no recipe for chili. You either have the chili gene and therefore know how to make it, or else you lack this particularly beneficial gene and no amount of instruction will ever allow you to make it.

Those Amazingly Prolific Sheeple

Ordinary Everyday Sheeple

In every culture, at every period in history, the bulk of humanity is composed of sheeple. Herd animals that follow a perceived, usually hypothetical authority, sheeple are perfectly willing to undermine their own individuality and critical thinking facilities in order to blend in with the herd. They bleat mindlessly at anything outside their narrow little boxes of reality.

There is Nothing PC About O/p

Political Correctness is a phenomenon that is sweeping the English speaking world. In essence PC is an attempt to avoid expressions or actions that can be perceived to exclude, marginalize, or insult people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against. There are numerous flaws in this concept, not the least of which is the violation of freedom of speech through Orwellian control of thoughts and ideas, and the fact that it turns a blind eye to genetic and sociological facts that are by their very nature un-PC. All men are not created equal as evidenced by intellectual and physiological differences, and criminals are not all victims of their environment.

Indecent Northern Exposure 1. Alaskan Apathy

My job is an administrative position, and usually involves a lot of what I call "Putting out brush fires.". Most people would call this troubleshooting and problem resolution. Due to my lack of diplomacy and overall dislike of people in general, I would never have expected to perform well in such a position. Naturally then, the malicious humor of fate would arrange it so that people assume that I can solve their problems. My undeserved reputation for this has managed to creep outside of my actual job and into the community at large, with people that I do not know and cannot possibly assist finding my work number and calling me.

The Architecture of O/p

When I sat out to build an O/p relationship, I knew what I wanted. This was no evolutionary ratcheting upward toward some ambiguous goal. I had a floor plan for it even before I started.

Because of this, there were no awkward questions to be had when life and O/p ran afoul of each other. The relationship was built around O/p, not O/p around a relationship. The remoteness of a dwelling for privacy and isolation were factored in. My career path needed to be evaluated in order to make it best fit what I needed. Socialization with peers and acquaintances was taken into account as some of them would not understand and therefore had to go. Financial matters were addressed, as was health care for both myself and her.

Bad Engineering Leads to This.

Lifestyle Dissonance

We see it in our lifestyle all the time. Scathing attacks on principles, accusations of elitism, insistence of our offering a 'one true way'. The end is always predictable. A gross mischaracterization of the lifestyle being assaulted, ridiculous accusations that are made even more contemptuous because the accusers fail to see their own hypocrisy reflected therein, and a militant attempt to usurp the philosophy and modify it so that it applies to virtually anyone. If they cannot have the lifestyle they covet and envy, they will destroy it. We have seen this happen to M/s, and are seeing it happen to O/p even as I write. But why? What causes this illogical and juvenile behavior?

Going Postal

Our Dedicated Postal Employees

Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail shall keep the postmen from their appointed rounds, except in Alaska.

Blogs Now Made Graphic With Post Print Visuals

Yeppers! You no longer need to strain your widdle brains by trying to envision my poetic imagery. Thanks to the capitalistic power of slave labor, my blog now has relevant, 100% accurate pictures added to the entries.

A Rant About a Lifestyle

World's Sexiest Wiccans Doing Stupid Wiccan Shit

I think that today I will do some lifestyle writing. There is a lifestyle that annoys the everliving fuck out of me. I mean it annoys me like one of those sneezes that won't quite manifest itself, or an itch under the thickest callous of my foot. A lifestyle so sanctimoniously pretentious that it claims heritage in ancient secret societies and cabals. I am talking of course about the lifestyle known as Wicca.

At the dawn of the twentieth century, a sexually repressed and repulsively ugly dyke named Margaret Alice Murray decided to ride the coat-tails of her superior male predecessors and stole their Witch-Cult Hypothesis. She then proceeded to scour records of European witch trials and compiled lists of 'covens', conveniently laying to one side numbers greater than 13 so she could add those extras to other 'covens' that had less than her favorite number. Using crotch cheese made from cultivating the yeasts from her unploughed twat, she glued this obvious fabrication to the 'horned god' that existed only in her imagination, doubtless inspired by double penetration fantasies since the cave art and drawings the skanky fraud cited did not contain horns.

Guilty Pleasures

L and I have been getting some e-mails of late from people that are admitting to subscribing anonymously to these blogs. To my surprise, most of them have been friendly. What I keep reading is mostly a variation of "Hi. I found your blog from an undisclosed location on Fetlife, and started reading. You don't seem very popular there,  so I am following you anonymously to keep from catching flak. I've enjoyed what I have read so far, and hope that you keep writing. Take care!"

Problems with Internal Enslavement

The idea of Internal Enslavement, or IE, has always amused me. While IE does serve a very good purpose, it cannot stand alone. The proponents of IE are under the impression that a state of slavery can be created through mental mechanisms alone. There is not a single shred of psychological or historical evidence to bolster this delusion, and considerable counter evidence to discard it, but being the sheeple that they are, they follow the herd and continue to pretend that IE not only closely approximates slavery, but that it actually is slavery.